Becoming Ellen by Shattuck Shari

Author:Shattuck, Shari [Shattuck, Shari]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2015-07-14T07:00:00+00:00

15

On the way to work, Ellen leaned her head against the window of the bus and thought about Lydia. She remembered the way it had felt to have Lydia in her lap, trusting her. She imagined the slight weight on her chest and experienced it as a spreading warmth.

Ellen got off the bus and walked across the huge parking lot, then around the giant block of a building, and took her usual route through the docks toward the locker room. Hearing voices inside, Ellen stopped just outside the break room. She leaned an ear against the door and made out a constant flow of words in a man’s voice, not one she immediately recognized. She drew herself inward, took a quiet breath, and opened the door soundlessly.

At one of the tables across the room, two men were sitting. The talker, who Ellen now recognized as Daniel, the dockworker who had shared Eric’s mean-spirited opinion of Thelma, was leaning forward across the tabletop at a forty-five-degree angle, while the guy across from him leaned away from it proportionately, his chair tilted back, seemingly determined to keep an even distance between them. Ellen couldn’t blame him, the flow of babble from Daniel was incessant and not particularly coherent. Neither of the men noticed Ellen, or even glanced at the door, as she slipped through the room.

She disappeared into the ladies’ locker room, put her bag in her locker, took out the small package she had borrowed the night before and placed it in the pocket of her smock. When she was ready, she went back to the exit. She listened but heard nothing. Wary, she pushed the door open a crack and looked out.

The second man had fled, but Daniel was still there, muttering in a constant stream, though now under his breath. As Ellen watched, he took a small baggie from his pocket and a popsicle stick, which he used to scoop out some of the powder. Then he sniffed it up his nose. He made a harsh sound and shook his head, as though it burned, and returned the baggie to his pocket with a glance at the entrance. His movements were both furtive and nervously manic.

Ellen let the door to the locker room slip back two inches, concealing the crack and her presence, and waited until she heard Daniel leave. With a sigh of relief that she hadn’t walked in on him—Always have a plan—she went to collect her supply cart and check the work assignments. She had the produce section tonight, but she let her eyes wander on down the list until she found dock restrooms. They had been assigned to Irena, a Russian immigrant for whom Ellen had done a small favor nine months ago. She was one of the only people in this work environment to whom Ellen had ever willfully spoken.

Knowing that Irena, like herself, felt like an outsider and preferred to arrive early and not deal with too many other people, Ellen waited for her in the supply room.

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